Body Positivity

What is

Body positivity is an approach that invites you to look at your own body and the bodies of others with less judgment and more respect. It doesn’t mean “having to love everything about yourself at all costs”, but to stop feeling wrong just because your body doesn’t correspond to an ideal model.

We’re talking about bodies that have sex, that feel pleasure, that change over time. Thin, fat, toned, soft, young, mature, marked bodies. All of them.

Body and sex: the reality, not the image

In real sex, bodies:

• sweat
• make sounds
• have folds, scars, body hair
• aren’t always “posing”

Yet much of the erotic imagination, especially online, presents bodies that are always perfect, always ready, always desirable according to very narrow standards. It’s the same mechanism we encounter when talking about Big Tits, Big Ass or other physical categories turned into labels.

Body positivity also arises as a response to these stereotypes, to remind us that sexual desire doesn’t arise from contemplating physical perfection, but is a completely objective factor that depends on multiple factors.

Desire and shame

Many people struggle to experience sex with serenity, not for lack of desire, but because of shame about their own body:

• “I turn off the light”
• “I cover up”
• “I don’t let anyone touch me there”

Body positivity doesn’t promise miracles, but it opens up a space: one where you can be there, without apologizing for how you’re made. And this has a huge impact also on intimate practices related to exploratory experiences.

Liking yourself isn’t mandatory

One important thing: body positivity doesn't mean “you have to love yourself exactly as you are”.
Sometimes it's enough:

• tolerating yourself
• stop insulting yourself in the mirror
• not thinking of your body's flaws (or the ones we consider flaws) as problems to solve before having sex

Body positivity and relationships

In a relationship, whether stable or casual, body positivity also becomes evident when we talk about other people's bodies:

• comments
• jokes
• comparisons
• dashed expectations

Desire grows more easily in a space where the body is not under scrutiny. This applies to everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

When it turns into rhetoric

In recent years, body positivity has also been heavily “cleaned up” by marketing: slogans, hashtags, images designed to seem inclusive but that in reality always show bodies that match specific standards.

Awareness!

Treating your own body and other people's bodies with respect makes the sexual experience freer, truer, and often more intense too. You don't have to be perfect to be desirable!

Sources

• Planned Parenthood – Body image & sexuality
  https://www.plannedparenthood.org
• The Guardian – Body image and sex
  https://www.theguardian.com
• Psychology Today – Body image and intimacy
  https://www.psychologytoday.com